The Weekend Five: Facebook Posts from a Graduating Senior

As I’ve mentioned in my four most recent blog posts, I am officially a college graduate! Of course, this means that hundreds of my nearest and dearest acquaintances are also now college graduates, proudly announcing this accomplishment through the platform we love best – social media. Throughout the month of May, my Facebook news feed has been teeming with posts revolving around graduation, new jobs and above all, the “memories.”

For every graduating senior, there are five Facebook posts to look out for on your own news feed. If you haven’t posted at least one of these yourself, then you are probably doing something wrong!

The Weekend Five: Facebook Posts from a Graduating Senior

1. “I need an extra ticket to Saturday’s graduation ceremony. Help!”
These statuses are everywhere and they are by far my least favorite! Because some universities limit the number of guest tickets that students can receive for commencement, students from big families or with a lot of supporters tend to posts these statuses within the month leading up to graduation. After a while, I stopped reading notifications from certain groups I belonged to on Facebook because I knew they would consist solely of ticket requests. (Besides, if I actually had extra tickets, don’t you think I would have used them to take additional family members, friends or my boyfriend to graduation?)

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2. “I picked up my cap and gown! It feels so surreal.”
Sure, we wore them at our high school graduations, but picking up our graduation gear in college seems so much more important. Once you have that enormous gown and the mortar board cap, you’re pretty much ready for that diploma. Naturally, of course, at least 20 of your friends will feel the need to post something about it, so get ready!

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3. Nostalgic status about the past four years.
Whether this person decided to repost photos from freshman year or recap the past four years through an incredibly long Facebook status, you’re bound to find plenty of nostalgia on social media in May. Facebook becomes an incredibly bittersweet place where we can gush about the best four years of our lives and the amazing friends we made and all the opportunities that brought us to this very moment. (Believe it or not, in spite of the profound effect that college had on me, I still haven’t quite posted my obligatory nostalgic status about the good old days. I’ll have to work on it!)

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4. Congratulatory posts from friends and family of graduates.
Let’s not forget about your friends who aren’t graduating! Those friends will mainly be posting congratulatory statuses and perhaps photos with someone they know who graduated, but they are just as wrapped up in the Facebook madness as those who have graduated. Usually with great achievements come great support, so look out for those tagged posts on your news feed as well.

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5. Photos of everyone in front of the same buildings and university landmarks.
As much as I enjoyed taking my graduation photos, I’ll admit that plenty of them had cliché written all over them, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! At every university, there are certain iconic buildings and landmarks that everyone will want to take a photo next to, so prepare yourself for multiple pictures with the same exact backgrounds. At my university, we are only allowed to set foot in the pond outside the library during Homecoming, so naturally I (and everyone else I knew) had to take pictures standing in the pond in my cap after I was finished with graduation!

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What sort of posts have you come to expect from graduating seniors?

My Facebook Newsfeed in a Nutshell

As I waste my precious relaxation and study time on social media, I begin to notice patterns among the people with which I am connected. It doesn’t matter that I have 655 friends on Facebook; I can still narrow down their statuses (and often my own included!) into about 10 categories. We are all guilty of at least some of these from time to time. Which types of statuses do you find most often?

The Party Animal Status.
You essentially live-blog your crazy nights out, complete with poorly lit cell phone photos, check-ins at a nightclub or two, and misspelled statuses that prove you have mastered the caps lock button. The Party Animal Status has become rarer with the threat of potential employers using it against you, but you still post them on occasion to let your acquaintances know that you have a pretty exciting social life and that you are, in no way, a borderline alcoholic.

The “I Love My Significant Other” Status.
Whether you’ve been dating for two days or two years, you are clearly madly in love and therefore want to share it with the world! Every day! You want everyone and their mothers to know how happy you are that you found the perfect person (for the time being), which is why you post statuses about the adorable things your significant other says or about why you love him/her. (Bonus points if you do this more than once per week.)

The Obnoxious Political Status.
This type of status exists on both ends of the political spectrum. If you are someone who posts these types of statuses, then you are the type of person who likes to take “freedom of speech” to a whole new level (and not in the hip, investigative journalist kind of way). Instead of, say, writing a letter to the editor or creating your own blog specifically targeted to people interested in reading about your political views, you find it appropriate to post them on your personal Facebook page and argue vehemently with anyone who disagrees. Whether you’re complaining that the country is in shambles or gloating over your candidate’s latest win, you want to make sure everyone is aware of your political views in the most in-your-face way possible. Luckily for me, while you may have your freedom of speech, I have my freedom to block your posts from my news feed!

The Passive Aggressive Status.
You’re so vain you probably think this status is about you. Carly Simon aside, your Facebook status is clearly that of a scorned lover/betrayed friend who may not have the guts to speak to the one who wronged you in person, but would still happily share your feelings online in a way that they can’t 100% prove is about them. If I confront you about your status and ask if it was about me, you can simply say, “Why would you think that? Obviously you must think you’ve done something wrong if you think I’m posting statuses about you,” and then you’ve won. If I don’t confront you, then maybe you’ve still won – I’m not really sure. Well played.

The Thinly Veiled Song Lyrics Status.
This status is similar to The Passive Aggressive Status in the sense that it speaks to a particular person without mentioning them specifically — the only difference is that it does so with song lyrics. You don’t always attribute the artist or song title when you post this status; after all, Justin Bieber may have summed up your feelings exactly in his latest song, but letting the world know so openly that you listen to him might ruin your street cred. We all know that this song is about your recent ex/crush/date, but we’ll let you pretend it isn’t completely obvious.

The Misattributed Old Hollywood Quote Status.
Let’s be real – you are either going to select a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn, because clearly those were the only two important actresses in Hollywood before you were born. (I say this with the best intentions — I am a huge Audrey fan!) The quote you have posted usually has no source other than the countless Tumblrs and homemade websites that have reposted it. Still, the quote is sassy and it reflects the current state of your life in some way, so who cares if you’ve never actually seen a movie with Marilyn Monroe in it?

The Tough Girl Status.
Unlike The Passive Aggressive Status or The Thinly Veiled Song Lyrics Status, you are not afraid to share your true feelings about someone on the Internet. Instead, you craft grumpy posts about the people who have hurt you or the many things that make you angry. You threaten to delete friends regularly from Facebook if they aren’t living up to your expectations, and at least once, you have deactivated your entire Facebook, created a new one under a slightly new identity (first and middle name instead of first and last) and re-friended virtually all of the same people. And the cycle begins again.

The Status That Should Have Stayed on Twitter/Instagram.
Hashtags (#) have no actual purpose on Facebook, but you’re not afraid to use them liberally on your statuses, even if those hashtags are simply #bored or #picturesofmylunch. Keep these on your other social media sites.

The Cry For Help Status.
You don’t want to bother any of your friends by calling them up and telling them what’s wrong, so your next option is to write about your problems in a strategically-timed Facebook status so that everyone knows how upset you are and will compliment you on a website that lives forever.

The Pretentious Status.
You might use this as an opportunity to humblebrag. You might use it to let your friends know that the upcoming American remake of an acclaimed European film is going to be terrible. You might even use it to tell your friends about your fabulous taste in records, slightly offbeat but still fairly mainstream fashion, or books by Chuck Palahniuk. (These are a few tips for figuring out if you’re pretentious.)

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What are some of the Facebook statuses you’ve been seeing lately? Which of these are you guilty of?

The Friday Five: Signs That You’re A Communications Major

As someone who identifies so closely with her major, I can often pick up on some of the differences between myself and my business/pre-med/engineering friends. For those of you who didn’t know, I’m currently a junior majoring in Advertising and Public Relations, which is part of my university’s Communications school. Through my experiences in its academic organizations, classes and internships (along with my interactions with other Communications majors!), I have noticed key similarities among our little group.

If you are majoring in Advertising, Public Relations, Journalism or any other form of Communications — or if you have a close friend in one of these majors or professions — follow along and see which of the following signs are applicable!

The Friday Five: Signs That You’re A Communications Major

1. You find yourself mentally correcting people when they say things that don’t comply with AP Style.

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2. You live-tweet about the commercials during the Super Bowl instead of actually watching the game.

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3. “Diversifying your portfolio” has nothing to do with personal finances, and everything to do with clipping unique samples of your work to show potential employers.

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4. You study the menus at your favorite chain restaurants — not because you’re interested in the food, but because you want to see how those restaurants implement their brand standards throughout their food and beverage menus.

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5. Because you are relatively active on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, you consider yourself the ultimate social media guru.

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Readers, what are some signs indicative of your major? 

The Freshman 15: Mid-Semester Motivation Tips

Can anyone believe it’s almost March? As so many of us find ourselves inundated with midterms, essays and appointments, we sometimes forget how to cope with our hectic workloads and instead allow the chaos to overcome us. While some of us may become complacent and decide we just don’t care how we score on that psych exam, others feel completely overwhelmed and buried by all of our stressors.

For February’s Freshman 15, I will discuss just a few ways to tackle that mid-semester slump and remain motivated throughout the year. Feel free to add your own in the comments section below!

The Freshman 15: Mid-Semester Motivation Tips

1. Stop telling yourself (and everyone else!) how stressed you are.
First of all, stress isn’t always a bad thing – in fact, it gives us that “fight or flight” response that allows us to act in emergency situations! A little bit of stress is good because it helps us perform to the best of our abilities. Second of all, although too much stress can be harmful, chances are that when you complain about it, you’re only making it worse. The more that you tell your friends (who most likely have a lot on their plates as well!) that you’re “stressed out,” the more that you hear those words in your own mind and the more stressed out you become.

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2. Reassess what you want.
During the fall semester of my freshman year, life wasn’t easy. Not only was I constantly sick, but I was in the middle of muddling through my general education requirements, many of which were not of interest to me. In fact, although I had a soft spot for my speech class, I had trouble feeling enthusiastic about any of the classes I was taking, in part because I didn’t have an end goal (a major) in mind. Once I finally chose a major to stick with, I found myself much more excited to go to classes and learn about the subjects I wanted to learn. Moral of the story? Choose a major that you’re going to be happy with. If your gen ed requirements are completed and you still dread going to classes, perhaps it is time to choose a new major.

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3. Cut something out of your schedule.
Grades should come first. If you find yourself so over-extended on extracurricular activities that you’ve worn yourself thin, it’s time to cut back and prioritize what activity is the most important to you. So many of us don’t know when to say “no” because we’re so excited about the myriad of opportunities we have in college, but it is better to do a few things well than to do many things halfheartedly.

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4. Discover a new hobby.
When I think of people with a lot of stress in their lives, Harry Potter always comes to mind. After all, his only surviving relatives despise him, he is constantly in detention, his Potions professor is out to get him (or so he thinks) and every year he has to save the world from the wrath of Voldemort. Harry’s friends provide some solace in his life, but when he hits the Quidditch pitch on his Firebolt broomstick, Harry is at peace (except, of course, when someone tries to bewitch his broomstick or send Dementors after him during a game). The point is – we all need a break, whether we find it in a game of Quidditch or a DIY project. If you don’t already have something that calms you down, find something. Too many hobbies will make you a little eccentric, but one great one will help you ease your mind when you have time to take a break.

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5. Change your scenery.
Sometimes when you’re in one place for too long, you become a little stir crazy. That’s why it’s important to change it up every so often! I tend to study in my room, but if it’s a beautiful sunny day outside, I might bring my textbooks out to the garden at school just for something different. Whether you relocate to Starbucks, the library or a hilltop, you will surely feel invigorated by your new surroundings.

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6. Give thanks.
You may be thinking that this has nothing to do with motivation, but ever since I started this gratitude challenge back in mid-January, I have felt infinitely happier and more inspired than ever. By writing down five things you are thankful for each night before you go to bed, you are challenging yourself to find the good in a sometimes bad day, and you begin to put your own problems into perspective. Try it!

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7. Surround yourself with positive people.
It’s hard to be optimistic when everyone you encounter is constantly whining about how difficult everything is. Find friends who know how to look at the glass half full – you can always learn from those people, and their happiness is usually contagious. Life is too short to be grumpy.

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8. Ditch the social media.
Studies reveal that using Facebook while studying tends to result in lower grades. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to know that liking your friends’ statuses and browsing pictures from last weekend’s party will not help you get an A in English class. With exams around the corner, you’ll need to know that Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers, but you do not need to know that Robbie and Julia are now in an open relationship. Besides, your mind will be a lot clearer if you spend a little less time on Facebook.

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9. Find a role model.
Having a mentor is an amazing thing when it feels like the walls are closing in on you. If you’ve met an older student that you aspire to be like, ask yourself what that person has done to become so successful. Better yet, ask him or her about it in person! People love to talk about their successes, and if you meet someone that you look up to, then when you feel like you’re about to give up on something, you can always ask yourself, “Would ____ do that?” Role models give us that extra boost of inspiration when we need it.

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10. Practice relaxation methods.
For many people, yoga and pilates are two phenomenal ways to burn calories and calm down from the day-to-day hustle and bustle. For others, they aren’t enough. Find something that helps you slow down when things become too much to handle. Learn how to meditate and breathe properly. These are just a few healthy ways to keep yourself grounded.

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11. Set new goals.
Feeling complacent? Do something about it! Challenge yourself with a new goal to reach. Apply for a study abroad program, learn a new skill, or join an organization that sounds appealing to you. Find ways to keep your college experiences fresh and exciting.

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12. Remind yourself of your positive attributes.
If you feel completely stuck and unable to accomplish what you need to accomplish, this handy trick will help get you out of your rut. In this exercise, you’ll need to list 100 things that you love about yourself. Think you can do it? In early February, I tried this out and was proud of some of the attributes I came up with. You’ll have to think outside the box a bit on this one, but once completed, this exercise really does boost your self esteem/self efficacy and help you regain motivation.

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13. Up the ante on organizational skills.
Sometimes, you just need to be a little more disciplined than usual to get the job done. Perhaps you’ll need to keep a more detailed agenda than usual, or maintain a more organized study space. Click here for tips on managing your time and organizing your life!

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14. Seek help when you need it.
Go to office hours. Meet with tutors and academic advisers. Make an appointment with the counseling center. Do what you need to do to stay on your game; don’t worry about what others are going to think. You should be your biggest priority.

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15. Be sure to address any deeper issues.
Sometimes we aren’t held back by a lack of motivation; rather, we have been affected by something farther beyond our control. Know the difference, and take care of yourself and the issue at hand.

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What topics would you like to see in the future?!

The Friday Five: Best Valentine’s Day Posts

Valentine’s Day may be behind us, but that certainly doesn’t make relationship-themed articles and posts any less timely! From the romantic to the practical, these pieces celebrate that crazy phenomenon we call “love” and give us a greater insight into some of its mysteries. Check them out this weekend – you may learn something new! (Links to these articles are in the parentheses after each headline.) Enjoy

The Friday Five: Best Valentine’s Day Posts

1. Literary Mixtape: Romeo and Juliet (Flavorwire).
As part of its “literary mixtape” series, Flavorwire attempts to discover what songs that present-day Romeo and Juliet would play on their (obviously shared) iPod. Not only does this playlist feature Taylor Swift and The Smiths (I had assumed I was the only person whose iPod had both artists), but it also pokes fun at the star-crossed lovers and provides plenty of laughs.

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2. Facebook knows Your Favorite Love Songs and Breakup Tunes (Mashable)
As social media continues to play a significant role in the way we communicate and share ideas, so too does it allow researchers to gather new information about humans that they never before were able to observe. When Facebook users change their relationship statuses to “In a Relationship” or “Single,” they often post popular song lyrics to express their feelings more eloquently. (Admit it — you’ve done this before, too!) Check out the list to determine if you’ve been seeing these song lyrics around your News Feeds.

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3. Valentine’s Day Kisses Continue Odd Human Tradition (Chicago Tribune)
Although no love story or romantic comedy is complete without true love’s kiss, we seldom consider where it came from and why. This article discusses the kiss from a cross-cultural and evolutionary perspective, and gives us quite a bit more background.

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4. Kim and Krickitt Carpenter: Second Time Around (LA Times)
If you’ve seen the trailers for the movie The Vow, then this story should sound familiar. In 1993, a young couple experienced a serious car crash, in which the woman (Krickitt Carpenter) suffered serious memory loss and could no longer remember her husband, Kim. However, through courting over time, the two managed to rekindle their love and renew their vows. If nothing else, the story will reaffirm your faith in a love that can withstand all obstacles.

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5. A Dating and Investing Guide For The Relationship Averse (Hello Giggles)
This article compares relationships to investments, and discusses the “risks” associated with dating from a financially-worded standpoint. Although it does not tell you how to literally manage your money, it does draw figurative parallels between dating and financial concepts, such as diversification and emerging markets. The article is not only clever but it also provides excellent advice on relationships.

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What were some great Valentine’s Day articles you read this year?

Growing Up Facebook

As social media continues to gain popularity, we find that not only does it play a role in our personal lives but it has also begun to integrate itself into our professional lives as well. We connect with potential employers through such outlets as Twitter and LinkedIn, which are often tailored to fit companies’ expectations, but when employers locate our Facebook pages, they tend to find the less professional versions of ourselves. More often than not, we are advised to keep our Facebooks clean and to avoid certain situations so that we can’t be photographed and tagged in them online. After all, employers have been known to base part of their hiring decisions on applicants’ Facebook personas, and it would be a shame if we didn’t get the job because they didn’t like what they saw.

While I agree that we should make wise decisions and be selective about what we choose to share with the world, I hardly think that one’s Facebook page can give an accurate perception of that person’s performance in the workplace. Rather, it gives viewers merely a glimpse of that person’s overall being — and a very limited one at that. For example, a 20-something college student who parties a little much on the weekends might also have a knack for accounting and might work just as hard as he plays. A girl who was photographed doing a keg stand at a party once might be a prodigy within her chosen field of study.

I am not trying to glorify partying — in fact, I’m the girl who stays in some weekends to read for fun — but I don’t think young people should be condemned for making a few impractical choices on their own time. It’s one thing if your questionable social life mixes in with your professional life and you begin to miss work because you’re constantly hung over, but if you can manage to keep both worlds separate, then why shouldn’t you be afforded that right?

These days, we are subject to more criticism than ever before. In the past, employers did not have the same kind of access to information about their employees’ personal lives, but now many college students are scrutinized for — in essence — being young and stupid. No other generation has experienced this quite the way ours has.

I understand why employers take advantage of the social media that surrounds them, but sometimes I wonder if this is any better than judging a book by its cover. Ultimately, we need to be careful about what we display online for the world to see, but we should do this out of self respect, not merely fear.

What are your thoughts?

The Freshman 15: Ways To Party Smart In College

For many of us, college means freedom. Now out of our parents’ homes, we are accountable for ourselves in ways we never even imagined. Not only do we have newfound responsibilities, but we also have fewer restrictions on how we spend our free time. In other words, if we want to stay out until 4 a.m., we can, without worrying about calling home first or sticking to a pre-planned curfew.

Of course, some people adjust better to balancing school and a social life than others, and while many find that college has helped them to grow up, others get a little power-hungry and find their little “balance act” spinning out of control.

This month, I would like to share with students some of the ways you can maintain your grades and overall safety, without remaining confined to your dorm room. For legal purposes, I will not endorse or discourage certain behaviors. I know that each of you will assign a different priority to the social scene, and that’s okay. However, as you continue to shop and pack for college, I hope you remember that with great power comes great responsibility (thank you, Spiderman!), and keep some of these tips in mind.

The Freshman 15:  Ways To Party Smart In College

1. Remember why you came to college in the first place.
Okay, so maybe “going out” was one of the things you were looking forward to when you enrolled in college, but that certainly wasn’t the only reason. College might become the most exciting part in your life so far, not so much because of the partying you choose to do, but because of the people you meet, the clubs you join and the opportunities you come across. Being able to go out and decide when you’re going home is an added bonus, but it is not what your tuition pays for. Ultimately, whether you like to go to bars or hang around at frat parties, remind yourself that as fun as all of this may be, your schooling should come first.

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2. Get your work done early on.
This means that if you know you’re going to be out late on Friday and/or Saturday night and you have an assignment due Monday, do your assignment before you leave your room. Finish as much work as you can by Friday afternoon so that you have nothing hanging over your head on the dreaded Sunday night.

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3. Go out with a group.
Every club has its creeps. If you arrive with a protective barrier of friends, it will be much easier to avoid said creeps and feel more secure in your surroundings. Although I would choose a party over a club or bar any day of the week, I always feel more comfortable when I’m there with several friends, especially if a few of them happen to be male (and look like they could throw a decent punch!). Going out with a group of friends is generally a lot safer than going out by yourself.

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4. Behave yourself in the dorms.
I don’t care what you do in your spare time; if it’s illegal or prohibited on campus, don’t do it there. Obviously, it is important to make wise choices wherever you go, but if caught doing something risky at the school, you could get kicked out of campus housing. Be aware of the rules — the last thing you want to do is lose your dorm room because of one stupid decision.

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5. If it’s questionable, don’t put it on Facebook.
As many will tell you, professors and prospective employers will stumble upon your social media outlets from time to time; some will even seek them out. You can keep your privacy settings as restricted as you would like, but you never know what photos, statuses or fan pages will slip through the cracks. Not only should you avoid being photographed in certain situations, but you should also be sure to untag any pictures that do come up (or ask your friends to take them down!) and avoid posting anything inappropriate on your own page in the meantime. Although your Facebook page shouldn’t reflect the type of worker you’ll be, many employers will still assume that it does, and it could ultimately play a role in your selection for a job or special program.

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6. Avoid clubs and parties on a school night.
There will be exceptions from time to time (a close friend’s birthday, a mostly-mandatory sorority social that happens to fall on a Thursday, etc.) but for the most part, save your exciting nightlife for the weekends. During the week, focus on school and other major responsibilities. There is never a need to go out 5 nights of the week.

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7. Choose a designated driver.
I know that most freshmen are not 21 (the legal drinking age), but I’m going to say it anyway. If you and your friends are going to a club or a party where alcohol will be available, make sure that someone in your group commits to not drinking that night and will be able to drive the rest of you home. Some schools may offer shuttle and taxi services as well, but have your plans ready before you go out so that you can make sure you’ll get back safely.

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8. Watch your drink carefully.
It doesn’t matter if you picked up a beer or a cup of water; keep an eye on your drink. Don’t drink from a cup you set down, especially if it was out of your sight at all. You never know who might slip something in. It’s a sobering thought (pardon the pun) but it’s important to guard your drink to avoid a potentially bad situation.

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9. Say “no” when you need to.
You are not obligated to attend every social event that has ever existed, so prioritize. If your grade is on the borderline in one of your classes and you really have to study, sometimes it is better to stay home or in the library than trying to cram everything into one weekend. If you’re too tired to endure a night out, it’s okay to stay in. There will be other nights, so if you are going to go out, make sure you aren’t dreading it (and that you’re able to commit!).

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10. Keep a calendar.
Make sure you manage your time effectively. When someone invites you to a can’t-miss party, jot down the details in your datebook or calendar so that you can work around it. That way, if your crush’s birthday festivities are at the end of next week and you have a big project due the following Monday (because things always tend to work out this way), you know how to budget your time on the project beforehand. (For more tips on time management in college, click here.)

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11. Get some sleep.
The old joke goes: “Social life. Grades. Sleep. Pick two.” Of course, at times it might be hard to figure out how you’re going to obtain all three of these, and often people will choose to sacrifice sleep in favor of the other two. If you aren’t getting enough sleep most nights, your immune system may weaken (if you don’t believe me, just ask how many times I went to the health center my first fall semester of college), and your schoolwork may suffer as well. Make sure that you don’t go out every night and that you aim for 8 hours most nights.

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12. Know your limits.
If you are going to drink, don’t drink to the point of excess every time you go out. Be mature and protect your reputation; you don’t want to be known as That Girl/Guy and you don’t want to be a total spectacle. When you become completely out of control every night, nobody is laughing with you anymore.

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13. Find out who your real friends are.
If worst comes to worst, your friends will take care of you. They will not leave you stranded outside a club, or abandon you when they see you in a situation you don’t seem remotely comfortable with. Right away, it’s important to figure out who you can trust.

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14. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
The point of having a social life is to give yourself a break from your daily grueling tasks. It is supposed to give you something fun to do. If you aren’t having fun or if you feel uncomfortable every time you go to a club, then maybe that scene isn’t for you. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t cool, but rather that you would have more fun doing something else. Find something you do enjoy, and spend your free time doing that.

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15. Keep things in moderation.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… but all play and no work makes Jack flunk out of college. Remember that the college experience is multifaceted and that you will learn nearly as much outside of the classroom as you will inside of it, but that college itself does not break down into Academics and Partying. Take advantage of every aspect that your school has to offer and don’t limit yourself to those two categories alone.

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My questions for readers:
- What do you most look forward to in college?
- How do you plan to maintain a social life?
- What questions do you have about college life that you would like to see featured in a future Freshman 15?

The Friday Five: Ways To Be Creepy On A First Date

In the world of dating, we are often encouraged to follow The Rules. Some of The Rules have been passed down to us by older siblings and friends, while others are encoded in our monthly Bible, better known as Cosmo. These Rules dictate what we should wear, how long we should wait to call, where we should go and how we should conduct ourselves. While at times The Rules make sense and are even helpful, others can be a little extreme.

This week, we are going to stop taking The Rules (and ourselves!) so seriously. Instead of going into great detail about what color clothing makes you desirable and how to properly flirt with someone you met in a bar, I want to discuss some of the ways to misbehave on a first date. I should also add that none of these non-Rules stem from my personal experiences, although I would encourage readers to share their own unfortunate first date stories in the comments section below. WARNING: None of these tips will likely land you a second date. If they do, you may want to rethink the relationship as a whole!

The Friday Five: Ways To Be Creepy On A First Date

1. When emailing or texting your date beforehand, use only the winking-face emoticons.
Everyone knows that the winking face, or ” ,” can add a degree of awkwardness to any text-based conversation. Unlike the traditional smiley face, the winking face often implies that what you said was meant to be suggestive. Examples: “I’ve heard so much about you ” “I can’t wait to see you tonight ” “I’ve always had memorable experiences at Olive Garden “. Using this emoticon before the big night is essential because it lets your date know right away that there’s something just a little bit off about you.

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2. Bring pictures of what your wedding and children would look like.
Even if your date does plan to get married and have children with someone someday, chances are he or she will be slightly alarmed if you suggest such things on the first date. If you have a photo of this person prior to the date, plug it into this site along with your own picture, and soon enough you will see what your child will supposedly look like. (Of course, this website isn’t the most accurate – when I combined a picture of my blonde sister with a picture of my light brown and white dog, the result was a baby who looked like Mr. T.) Have them printed as wallet-sized and encourage your date to carry them around for good luck.

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3. Excessively reference information from his or her Facebook page.
Let’s face it: girls and guys are both guilty of Facebook stalking every once in a while. In fact, it’s sort of impossible not to, when you think of the effects that social media has on us. Nevertheless, a good Facebook stalker will make the most of his or her resources by studying his or her date’s interests, observing the date’s online interactions from the past three years and rooting through the 900 photos that the date has been tagged in. After you’ve done your homework, apply what you’ve learned to your conversation on the first date. Below is just one example, but feel free to make it your own!

Not Creepy: “I see you like a lot of indie music. Any good bands you’ve been listening to lately?”
Creepy: “I saw in your pictures that you went to the Death Cab For Cutie concert in 2006. Who was that girl next to you, anyway… was that your girlfriend or just someone you met at the concert? I noticed that you never tagged her on Facebook, but she kind of looks like the girl in some of your other pictures. I’m just curious.”

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4. Break into random accents and voices.
It doesn’t matter if you have mastered the accent or not (in fact, it’s probably better if you haven’t), so long as you change it up mid-sentence every so often. Not only will this make your date question your acting abilities, but it will also make him or her wonder whether or not they are on a date with one person or five different people. The only thing that your date will know for sure is that all five of those characters you’re trying to impersonate are clearly just as weird as you are.

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5. Bring up as many awkward topics as possible.
The first date is often littered with cliched small-talk, so make yourself memorable by bringing up the topics that no one is willing to talk about in the getting-to-know-you stage. As you sip away at your drink, think about the most embarrassing ailment you’ve ever had and then share all of the gory details. When the waiter brings your salads, talk about how many — or how few — sexual encounters you’ve had. Tell your date about your latest prostate exam (bonus points if you don’t have a prostate). Ask a lot of questions along the way, and if your date seems quiet, just pry the information out of him or her.

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If your date isn’t completely creeped out by the end of the night (or responds well to the above advances), then congratulations: you have found someone who may be even weirder than you are!

Your Life in the Tabloids

For most of us, our lives aren’t part of a segment on E! News. We don’t have to throw on sunglasses as we leave the house with no makeup on, for fear of being recognized and stalked by paparazzi. We don’t see our pictures on the covers of tabloids every time we hang out with a member of the opposite sex, plastered with headlines like “Are They or Aren’t They?” or “_____’s Secret Love Interest.” We don’t do interviews and photoshoots with Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone, only to have our words dissected by every celebrity news blogger and their mothers.

In other words, as average teens and twenty-somethings, we can safely say that our personal lives are not out there for the world to see.

And yet, many people just don’t see this as the case. Instead of sharing the more important details privately with their closest friends, they leak their entire life stories to complete strangers, and by the end of the day, we learn enough information to write a comprehensive Wikipedia bio on them.

Why do we feel the need to overshare? We do this not only in person in front of people we’ve hardly even met, but through social media outlets as well. Through Twitter and Facebook, I have learned on multiple occasions about who was spending the night at whose apartment, and play-by-play accounts of others’ relationships. We have all been known to post an inappropriate status from time to time, but when all you live for is to see others’ reactions to your words, it becomes a bit much.

It may be difficult to keep the private things private (as in, among yourself, those it concerns, and your closest friends) because of the nature of social media and the way it encourages us to spill everything. In addition, even if you only keep to a few people, you may have friends who will make sure your secrets will come out in time for the next Gossip Girl blast. However, when we do have the chance, we should be mindful of what we say in public and how it can be misconstrued by those wandering ears or the extra people our friends bring along.

Dating, An Overanalysis

From time to time, everyone is guilty of it. We meet someone cute who grabs our attention, exchange numbers/Facebooks and begin to socialize. Whether we officially go on “dates” or fall into a will-they-won’t-they pattern, we find ourselves smiling a lot more around them, replaying certain interactions in our heads and rereading our text message conversations in search of some hidden meaning.  We don’t do this all the time, but when we do, we instantly know it because our friends won’t let us live it down. It is the science of overanalyzing a relationship, reading into every little detail because maybe it will mean something later.

 Often I wonder why we do this. Why do we turn every single gesture into a symbol of something much more important than it probably is? After all, we recognize when our friends are doing it, and laugh as they drive themselves crazy with too many overanalyses of their crush/significant other’s actions. We encourage them to take things one step at a time, and tell them to focus on other things, but of course they only end up pointing out the many times that we have done this in the past.

Maybe our over-thinking gives us some confidence when dealing with unknown territory. Although we don’t know exactly what that one Facebook message meant,  our assumption that it meant something significant can give us hope. It makes us excited about whatever is coming next.

At the same time, of course, overanalyzing a potential relationship can be detrimental. It can cause anxiety if something he/she said makes us think that we aren’t wanted; it can also raise our expectations too high. If we obsess about every little detail, we will only go insane… even if things are headed in the right direction!

Ultimately, it is important to stay positive and be excited about whatever is going on in your life without thinking about it every second of the day. Maybe that extra emoticon was the answer to your questions, but it is important not to dwell on the small stuff  too often, and let the good things come and surprise you along the way.