The Weekend Five: Signs That It’s 2012

1. The hottest toy for children on the market is an educational version of the iPad.

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2. You still remember your excitement from receiving a Now That’s What I Call Music 3 CD when you were in elementary school, and yet you just saw a copy of Now 40 on the shelves.

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3. When someone says the name “Farrah,” you ask, “Fawcett, or the girl from Teen Mom?”

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4. Even though you own Beauty and the Beast on VHS, you’re still tempted to go see it in 3D now that it’s back in theaters with every other movie from your childhood.

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5. Several of your classmates argue that email is not a quick enough form of communication.

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What do you think? What are some of the 2012 markers that you’ve noticed?

“I think that when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.” – Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

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For my very first book of the new year, I dove into Mindy Kaling’s autobiography Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), which was one of the best decisions I have made so far. Not only did this book make me realize that I want to be Mindy Kaling when I grow up, but it also provided a lot of insight into the worlds of writing, self-confidence, success and, of course, relationships. One of my favorite chapters from her book, entitled “Men and Boys,” discusses the differences between “boys” and “men,” and Kaling’s preference for the latter. She argues that, unlike boys, men aren’t afraid of commitment. However, she is careful to define commitment as something more than being exclusive with someone; rather, she refers to commitment as being “entrenched in [one's] own life.”

As someone who has always found it important to find something you love and then incorporate it into your world as much as possible, I found that this chapter really resonated with me — not in a Nicholas Sparks/Lifetime Movie/I-need-to-get-married-and-have-babies kind of way, but from a different point of view. I find myself drawn to people who are goal-driven and focused, who have something they’re passionate about and are willing to work hard to achieve their dreams. Interacting with people who are just as excited about what they’re doing as you are can be a rewarding experience.

From a more individualistic perspective, I think it’s important to round yourself out by finding something worth committing to. Rather than floating around waiting for life to happen to you, you should be out in the world, discovering who you are and settling into that role. Rather than focusing on the superficial, look for something other than a vague interest and then learn as much as you can about it, take steps to develop skills in it and then showcase that however you can. Once you start taking control of your own life and then committing to this new world you’ve created for yourself, you should look for those same types of people, ones who are passionate about something but also willing to be a responsible grown-up.

Throughout your college years, you will likely meet and befriend some of the most important people (outside of your family) in your life thus far. In the past, I’ve discussed the different types of guys, girls, friends, roommates, couples and professors you will encounter at your university, but I have yet to talk about the less savory characters in detail. That’s why this week’s installment of “The Five People You Meet In College” will focus on the five people you don’t want to get stuck with in the four years to come.

The Friday Five: People To Avoid In College

1. The Player.
He considers himself “The Man” because of the harem he keeps in tow at all times and the approval that his buddies demonstrate when he tells them his stories. A commitment-phobe with little interest in finding a semi-permanent girlfriend, The Player knows exactly what to say to keep his girls waiting around for him. With a hint of “Nobody gets me like you do” and a whole lot of “I’m just so busy right now,” he has a revolving door of young ladies and a few hopefuls that keep coming back. (Girls, if he’s dropped half his classes, has no extracurriculars or job, and still claims to be too busy to make time for you… steer clear!) The Player may eventually reform, but he has no immediate plans to change his ways and settle down.

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2. The Leech.
The leech can come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe he or she likes to use you for frequent car rides without offering to reciprocate or pay you for gas, or perhaps this person shows up at every party empty-handed, ready to eat all of your food/drink all of your booze. It doesn’t matter how this person is using you, as long as you can identify that you are in fact being taken advantage of. Friendship is not about keeping track of who owes what, but it is important to be aware of when things have become one-sided.

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3. The One Who Just Shows Up.
You met this person early freshman year, he followed you home like a lost puppy and now you can’t get rid of him. You’ve awaken from naps and stopped in the middle of important study sessions to find him at your door, looking for a place to hang out at the least convenient times. It is important to be a hospitable host or hostess, even during your freshman year, but with this person on your couch at random hours of the day, giving you unwarranted advice on how you keep your dorm room, it isn’t always easy to be welcoming.

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4. The Fake Friend.
The Fake Friend is someone you spend a lot of time with, who focuses mainly on his or her own personal issues and becomes conveniently unavailable when you need to talk to him or her about your own problems. This person is one of the first people you text when something has happened in your life, but he or she is most likely to spread gossip about you or put your interests last. Nevertheless, The Fake Friend constantly greets you with an enthusiastic hug or by shrieking your name in an otherwise quiet location, content that his or her negative motives won’t be discovered for another year or so.

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5. The One Who Goes Crazy.
You’ll meet at least one of these when you move into the dorms, and although they are incredibly entertaining to observe, you should try and avoid these people at all costs. The One Who Goes Crazy generally starts out as one of those innocent students who was sheltered by his or her strict parents for the past 18 years and hasn’t had the opportunity to date, stay out past 8 p.m., etc. (Bonus points if they’re home-schooled or part of a magnet program!) Because this person was not previously exposed to the typical high school debauchery, he or she instead often experiences a new type of freedom in college that can erupt in chaos. Suddenly, your friend who had never kissed a boy is suddenly trading in boyfriends the way old rich guys trade in fancy cars, attending parties that sound suspiciously like raves, experimenting with mullets and posting provocative photos all over the Internet. Once this monster has been created, she cannot be stopped!

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What are some of the types of people you would suggest avoiding in college?

After spending a mediocre day at the doctor and in bed, I was both surprised and ecstatic to learn that I have won the Versatile Blogger Award! Thanks to Sharon from Hyperactive Inefficiency (who so kindly nominated me for the award), my day has gotten a whole lot better, and I am extremely honored to have even been considered.

As one of the rules for accepting this award, I must tell you seven things you might not know about me.

1. If I were a Disney princess, I would be Belle.

2. Contrary to what my social standing in high school would suggest, I was a cheerleader for five years and was, at one point, ranked at the All-American level. (Read: I used to do flips and stuff.)

3. I collect spoons from every new state, country or exciting tourist attraction I visit.

4. I could watch the TCM channel all day, especially if they were having a Humphrey Bogart/Audrey Hepburn/Katharine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy marathon. Old Hollywood > New Hollywood. (Does that make me sound like a hipster?)

5. My most recent obsession is the new fairy-tale show Once Upon a Time on ABC. I’m waiting for an excuse to blog about some aspect of it… because it’s that good.

6. Back in October, I orchestrated a Triwizard Tournament consisting of nearly 100 people.

7. I never know what to write about myself!

Another rule for accepting the award means that it’s my turn to nominate 15 versatile bloggers for this award. I will be announcing those nominees in a future post!

I would love to thank Sharon once again for such an honor I’m so flattered to have been considered!

Breaking up is hard to do. We know this, not only because it has probably been true in each of our lives at one point or another, but also because we learned it from a song. It stands to reason, then, that breaking up with (or simply letting down) a tortured artist is even harder than breaking up with your average Joe/Jane. Therefore, if any of you are strongly considering temporarily dating a famous artist/musician, keep in mind that some of them will handle the end of the relationship better than others.

The Friday Five: Artists Not To Mess With

1. Taylor Swift.
A word to the wise: If she has an unrequited crush on you, she will write a song about it. If she has a happy relationship with you, she will write a song about it. If you break up with her during a 27-second phone call, she will certainly tell Ellen Degeneres about it on her show, but there will be a song describing the situation as well. Whether you’re John Mayer, Joe Jonas or a nameless non-celebrity boyfriend she briefly fell for, you will become infamous to all who read the tabloids and listen to the radio sometimes, and little girls everywhere will hate you (at least temporarily). Taylor Swift comes across as sweet as apple pie, but when it’s time to write new songs, the claws will come out.

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2. Carly Simon.
Everyone knows that You’re So Vain is about Warren Beatty. (Even people who don’t know who Warren Beatty is know that the song is about him!) If I were Warren, I’m not sure what I would be more upset about: the fact that people everywhere might have less respect for me because of how vain I am rumored to be, or the fact that the world would now know that I indeed own a “scarf that is apricot.”

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3. Vincent van Gogh.
Unless you want to find an ear in your mailbox, I suggest you don’t even bother with this one. Just admire Starry Night from afar.

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4. Adele.
Rumor has it (ha, Adele pun!) that Adele’s entire sophomore album was inspired by one ex-boyfriend in particular. I have yet to hear a my-life-is-a-perfect-fairy-tale-and-my-boyfriend-is-Prince-Charming love song performed by Adele, but her powerful breakup ballads are pure gold. Having said that, I’m willing to bet that there’s a certain ex-boyfriend of hers out there who furrows his brow in frustration (because seriously, what else can he do?) every time one of her songs wins another award for its ingenuity. If you date Adele, don’t expect a feel-good song about your relationship to make it onto her next album. However, if you simply want to contribute to the greater good of the music industry for the love of art, then end the relationship badly and her talent will only continue to grow.

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5. Bruno Mars.
For one thing, Bruno Mars loves you unconditionally. He thinks you are perfect in every single way and will do anything you ever ask him to do, even at his own expense. And yes, he may have his legal issues, but he won’t judge you for yours, so who are you to judge him for his? If you ever have to end things with Bruno Mars, please be gentle with him. One of his recent songs, It Will Rain, demonstrates that he definitely can’t handle a breakup right now. My sister and I discuss poor Bruno all the time in relation to this song, and we feel that he must be crying out for help here. Ladies, be nice to him… guys like Bruno Mars don’t just pop up in nature… and if he loses you, there will be neither sunlight nor clear skies, so an imminent breakup would not only be difficult for him, but it would also take a drastic toll on the state of our weather.

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What are your thoughts? Which artist do you want to steer clear of?

For the first time ever, one of my New Year’s Resolutions last year was to read 50 books in 2011. Between school, life events and just plain abandonment of the really bad books, I wound up only reading 38 books… which is still an accomplishment for someone who loves to read but doesn’t have a lot of time to do so! Some of these books inspired blog entries (see links below), while others required me to open myself to genres I wouldn’t have otherwise considered. I learned a lot from last year’s book challenge, and am excited to try again in 2012.

Below are the books I read in 2011. Feel free to comment with suggestions for this year’s book list, along with any questions you have about books you’re thinking of reading, as well as your own resolutions for the coming year!

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Books I Read in 2011

1. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (1/6/11)
2. A Mercy by Toni Morrison (1/17/11)
3. Voices by Lucille Clifton (1/19/11)
4. Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright (2/12/11)
5. The Red Convertible by Louise Erdrich (2/17/11)
6. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (2/20/11)
7. My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki (3/8/11) — With Your Whole Heart
8. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein (3/10/11)
9. The Latin Deli by Judith Ortiz Cofer (4/4/11) — Heartbreak and the Latin Deli
10. This Lovely Life by Vicki Forman (4/14/11)
11. Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin (4/16/11)
12. Everyday Chica by Cecilia Rodriguez Milanes (4/21/11)
13. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (4/28/11)
14. For One More Day by Mitch Albom (5/2/11)
15. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (5/8/11)
16. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (5/10/11)
17. Along For The Ride by Sarah Dessen (5/20/11) — Our Struggles With Either/Or
18. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (6/14/11) – The Joy Luck Club And Happiness, Meet Me Halfway (Or Elsewhere), Innocence Versus Hope
19. Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin (6/20/11) – Something Borrowed: The Ethics of Boyfriend Snatching
20. What Happened To Goodbye by Sarah Dessen (6/29/11) - What’s In A Name?
21. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (7/6/11) - Eat, Pray, Be Present , Following Your Heart and Finding Your Backbone
22. Something Blue by Emily Giffin (7/7/11)
23. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (7/19/11)
24. Understanding the Psychology of Diversity by Bruce E. Blaine (7/23/11)
25. The Shining by Stephen King (7/25/11)
26. Uglies by Scott Westerfeld (7/31/11)
27. Pretties by Scott Westerfeld (8/10/11)
28. Specials by Scott Westerfeld (8/20/11)
29. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (8/26/11)
30. Some Girls: My Life In A Harem by Jillian Lauren (8/31/11)
31. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (9/20/11) – Waiting By The Window
32. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett (9/28/11)
33. The Princess Bride by William Goldman (10/9/11)
34. Once Upon a Quinceanera: Coming of Age in the USA by Julia Alvarez (10/24/11)
35. The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen (10/30/11)
36. Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg by Barry Williams (11/26/11)
37. The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen (11/26/11)
38. Ogilvy On Advertising by David Ogilvy (12/17/11)

Author Note: I apologize for my lack of posts in the last month or so! Between studying for finals, trekking all across town on interviews and traveling overseas for the best 10 days of my life, there hasn’t been a lot of time for writing. I hope to change that in the new year to come!

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Once upon a time, we were all sixteen and crazy. As high school sophomores and juniors, we worried about all the wrong things and made the wrong decisions, all in the hopes that our lives would turn out to be just another glamorous episode of some teen soap opera on the CW. Of course, our lives were not nearly as dramatic and romantic as we hoped, but we didn’t learn that until well after we graduated.

If I could go back and talk to my 16-year-old self, I would definitely have a few suggestions for how to be less of an angst-ridden cliche and how to be more awesome.

The Friday Five: Lessons For My 16-Year-Old Self

1. You will forget “the one that got away.”
You know that guy you’ve been crushing on since last summer, the one who didn’t end up asking you to junior prom despite the fact that you’re clearly perfect for each other? Well, in five years, he’ll be no more than a story you tell your college friends about the days when you liked guys with skinny jeans and awkward haircuts. Sure, the two of you might still keep in touch on Facebook, but only so you can laugh at the ridiculous statuses he posts and remind yourself of how you really dodged a bullet all those years ago. You’ll forget the sadness you felt when things didn’t work out, and the void he left will be filled by plenty of new relationships in the years to come.

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2. Don’t let relationships become your only focus.
Once you really enter the dating world, you will find that at times you’ll want to be in a relationship, but at other times you’ll want to be single, and that’s okay. You’re young, and you still have plenty of time before people in your family will start guilting you into “settling down,” so when you *are* single, take that time to focus on yourself. In fact, by the time you turn twenty, you will probably have sworn off dating at least once in favor of “focusing on your career” or undergoing some form of makeover. Being with someone can be great when the timing is right, but there is much more to life and growing up than checking off “In a Relationship” on Facebook.

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3. In five years, you will laugh at whatever you wore in those photos.
No matter how cool you thought you looked, any fashions or trendy hairstyles you try to replicate will look ridiculous when you flip through old pictures in the years to come. So smile big, have a sense of humor and remind yourself that one day your kids will think you’re just as lame as you think your parents are now.

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4. Few of your friends will stick by you past graduation, and that’s okay.
Enjoy the moments you have together, but realize that in a few years you will probably hang out with an entirely new crowd, save for your best friend from high school and a few people who went to your university. The high school drama will end with high school, and you’ll have another four years to form new relationships with people you have much more in common with.

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5. You don’t need to know what you want to be when you grow up.
It doesn’t matter that at sixteen, you have no idea what you want to study in college or whether or not you’ll go to grad school. In five years, after a lot of soul searching, college coursework and trips to your adviser, you might still not know what you want to do with your life, but chances are you will be a lot closer to realizing what you want to do and what will make you happy. In the meantime, learn how to learn, and open your mind to new experiences and interests. Take up some hobbies, read books in your spare time and recognize that what you might want now could easily change when you’re older.

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What would you tell your 16-year-old self?

Hipsters, I’m on to you.

While it may be true that I don’t shop primarily in thrift stores or drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, I think I’ve finally uncovered some of the reasons why America is so fascinated with the sub-culture that is Hipster, and why so many young people strive to become a part of it.

In the past, readers of my blog have accused me of being too critical of hipsters in previous posts (here and here), but I promise this post isn’t meant to offend. Interestingly enough, several of my friends have labeled me as a little bit hipster, probably because of my appreciation for plaid, irony and the obscure. Of course, when you take a closer look at me, you’ll see that I’m clearly a product of the mainstream culture — someone who still blogs about Taylor Swift songs, watches more reality television than she should and pretends to be Audrey Hepburn from time to time.

I’d like to argue that we all have our pretentious moments. We want to be able to say, “I listened to that band before it was popular,” because in some way, that will prove to the world that we are free-thinkers and trend-setters. We want to deviate from the mainstream so that we can feel a little more innovative and maybe even sophisticated.

The ironic popularization of the hipster sub-culture seems to be a natural transition from the mainstream’s growing acceptance of The Lovable Dork trope of the last decade. Many of us grew up in the 90s, when the ideal was to be popular and cookie-cutter pretty; blondes ranked especially high on the unwritten list of who to aspire to look like, and the boys whose names we doodled on our Lisa Frank notebooks were the ones who looked like they belonged in n*Sync.

But then the 2000s came around and we fell in love with The O.C.‘s Seth Cohen, the intelligent and sarcastic outcast who ultimately won the heart of the Prom Queen. Suddenly, the “nerds” that pop culture once portrayed as unattractive and undesirable became our celebrity crushes, and girls everywhere claimed to be looking for their own nerdy boyfriends (who were usually just good-looking guys in glasses).

Then, in 2009, (500) Days of Summer hit theaters, and suddenly Zooey Deschanel was the new It Girl. Far from the 90s blonde ideal mentioned earlier, Deschanel represented the quirkiness that many girls were able to relate to in some way, and her headbands and funky dresses became staples in boutiques everywhere. Other members of the entertainment world contributed to this trend as well, but the idea of the offbeat person with a unique spin to an outfit appeals to the “innovator” in all of us.

This, of course, brings us to Hipsterdom. Although I would not categorize Seth Cohen/Adam Brody or Zooey Deschanel as hipsters themselves, I believe that the trends they set have contributed greatly to the country’s fascination with hipsters and the desires of many young people to fit into that sub-culture. After all, don’t hipsters support the unknown and unappreciated, the “misfits” who don’t immediately fit into the mainstream?

I would not categorize myself as much of a hipster. But I would, in fact, be willing to bet that most of us have some of those “hipster” qualities within us — in other words, we’re all a little bit hipster. Having said that, try not to let this new label get to your head… even though you knew what a hipster was before everyone else did, this won’t have any effect in the real world.

This week, I would like to take a look at some of the holidays we should observe more often. Feel free to chime in with your own in the comments section below!

The Friday Five: Holidays to Observe All Year

1. Thanksgiving.
Well, if that wasn’t a given, I don’t know what is. We should take some time out of every day to reflect upon how fortunate we are, regardless of how stressful life can be.

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2. Valentine’s Day.
Telling someone “I Love You” shouldn’t be restricted to February 14. Doing something spontaneous and sweet for your significant other will mean a lot more to that person if it happens on a random Tuesday rather than a holiday when everyone feels obligated to be romantic. Similarly, you should show small acts of kindness toward everyone throughout the year, instead of saving up for one grand gesture and a remainder of mediocrity and halfheartedness.

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3. New Year’s.
This doesn’t mean you need to get rip-roaring drunk every night and cheer when the clock strikes 12 — you can save that until December 31. However, many people wait until the New Year (and occasionally Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year) to make amends for past mistakes and to create new goals and resolutions. However, we should spend the whole year working on ourselves, not just one small window of time. If we set reasonable expectations throughout the year, we are more likely to stick to them and see some real results. Besides, it is never too late in the year to reinvent yourself.

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4. Independence Day.
Most people tend to be patriotic around the Fourth of July, Memorial Day or a national disaster, but when barbecues and fireworks aren’t taking place, a lot of us forget what it means to be American. You don’t need to be in-your-face about your nationality, but it is important to be present by recognizing how lucky you are to be where you are. (I understand that some readers do not live in the U.S., so feel free to replace this one with one of your homeland’s own national holidays!)

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5. Halloween.
The spookiest holiday of the year is all about overcoming your fears and allowing yourself to have fun. As Robert California from The Office says in a recent episode, “Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships?” By stepping out of our comfort zones more than once every year, we allow ourselves to develop and grow as human beings (or ghouls).

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What are your favorite holidays, and what have they taught you?

Happy holidays, everyone!

If you ever struggle to remember the places you went, the people you were with and the way you felt at a particular time in your life, all you need to do is dust off your cassette tapes, thumb through your CD collection or pick apart your iTunes library. It may sound silly, but sometimes all you need is just one song to bring you back to a moment, just a few chords to revive a distant (or not-so-distant) memory.

Longtime readers of my blog are aware of how obsessive I am when it comes to creating mix CDs. Although I haven’t created any new ones lately (my car is overflowing with them!), I still listen to the old ones from time to time, and they remind me of the experiences I had and the lessons I learned from them when the CD was first made. During today’s 3-hour drive, I listened to the second mix CD I ever made for my car, and it transported me to September 2009, when I was nineteen years old and just beginning my freshman year of college. When that one Taylor Swift song plays, I picture myself back in the car with my summer roommates, singing along as we each hoped that cute upperclassman boy would fall for us. Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails conjure images of the guy I should never have given a chance, and Chris Brown’s Forever reminds me of my friendship with my now-roommate as it developed from freshman year.

I don’t advocate dwelling on the past, but revisiting old music preferences in the present-day can bring back a flood of memories and remind us of how we’ve grown in the time that has passed. It allows us to remember those previous events from a fresh perspective, to reflect on what we’ve learned from our experiences and mistakes. So why not uncover the playlist you created when you were eighteen, sit back and listen? Don’t stick yourself in 2008 for too long, but smile at the now-ancient stories and be proud of yourself for all you have accomplished since then.