Link Love Wednesday: Happily Ever After?

Good evening, friends! For those who are beginning summer classes, hope you are having a wonderful start to your semester. Meanwhile, I hope the rest of you are enjoying your weeks.

Although I graduated from college just a couple of weeks ago, I’m still a Disney princess at heart (tiara, princess voice and all). I may be an educated semi-feminist, but there’s something about the franchise that brings me right back to my childhood. Of course, when Disney came up in the blogosphere this week, I had to take a look!

• Merida, the heroine from Pixar’s Brave, is now officially a Disney princess, and with every great title change comes a controversial makeover (pictured in the article). Critics are outraged with Merida’s new appearance, claiming that she looks much thinner now and that Disney is sending a negative message to young girls. Personally, I don’t see a huge difference before and after. What are your thoughts?
• For her daughter’s fifth birthday, one mom from Texas decided to forgo the Disney princess theme. Instead, she dressed her daughter as five real-life heroines (Coco Chanel, Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller, Jane Goodall and Susan B. Anthony) and photographed her as each. I’ve been hearing about more and more young girls dressing up as inspirational women in history, and as much as I loved my Belle costumes as a little girl, I have to say I think this is such a cool idea.
• Are clothes getting too skimpy for young girls? This is what one New York Times writer and father of two had to say.
• Brianna Wiest from Thought Catalog wrote about the “games” we play when dating in order to hide our vulnerabilities. Great article about our insistence on playing hard-to-get instead of being straightforward.
• We’re constantly reading about what we can do to make ourselves desirable in the job market, but sometimes the “don’ts” are just as important as the “dos.” PR Daily addresses graduating college students by explaining what not to do when applying for jobs!
• I jumped on the bandwagon for the HBO show Girls only recently, but I quickly became addicted, watching the entire series in the span of about two weeks. I can’t help but identify with a couple of the characters (regardless of what that says about me!), and would much rather listen to people discuss whether they’re “a Shoshanna or a Jessa” than “a Carrie or a Miranda.” Kelly Williams Brown of Adulting wrote this fantastic open letter to each of the show’s characters on how to grow up, and if you’re a fan of the show, you’ll be sure to enjoy.
• Did you know that social media has impacted the way we think about food? Check out this Greatist article about the positive and negative effects that social media has had.
• Chicken piccata is one of my favorite dishes, but it can get a little calorie heavy at times! Dani Spies posted a recipe and video for a healthier chicken piccata recipe that I can’t wait to try. (I love her videos – they not only helped me to make the most delicious broccoli ever, but they also taught me how to hard boil eggs. Don’t make fun of me.)

What have you been reading lately?

The Weekend Five: Worst Boyfriends in Literature

In the past, we’ve talked about our tendency to fall in love with fictional characters, regardless of how unrealistic our attachments to them really are. During my childhood, for example, I was especially enamored with The Fonz from Happy Days and Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy – both of whom were around way before my time. Today, in the era of fanfiction and copious film adaptations, it seems that more and more people have developed feelings for fictional characters, especially those in literature. (Ladies, does the name “Mr. Darcy” ring any bells?)

This week, we’ll talk about some of the literary male characters you shouldn’t fall madly in love with. These are some of the men in literature who would ultimately make the worst boyfriends/husbands.

The Weekend Five: Worst Boyfriends in Literature

1. Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë).Before you say anything, I know… I talk way too much about Heathcliff on this blog. That’s because this brooding gypsy from the wrong side of the tracks is a magnet for drama, especially of the romantic kind. When the woman he loves marries a man of a higher station than his own, Heathcliff retaliates by marrying the man’s sister and ultimately becomes emotionally abusive and manipulative. There’s a lot more to the story than that, but would you really want to be with someone who treats everyone in his life poorly and is still obsessed with a relationship that never worked out?

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2. Christian Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James).
We could sit around all day and try to figure out what exactly constitutes this series as literature, but let’s face facts: Christian Grey is not the guy you want to date. Sure, he’s handsome and wealthy, and he has a penchant for saying things like “Laters baby,” but when it comes down to it, he’s extremely controlling and emotionally fragile. He purchases an entire company in order to secure a job for the girl he loves (against her wishes, by the way), and when she tries to end things with him, he basically stalks her until she gives up and decides to give the relationship another shot. Let’s also not forget that he has a pretty rough past that clearly affects the way he treats women. (The part that saddens me is that a lot of girls still think of him as a sort of Prince Charming, even if he’s kind of the opposite.)

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3. Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë).
At first, life with this man seems perfectly fine. But then you start to show signs that you’re a little crazy, and he decides to lock you in the attic. Then he has the nerve to start seeing someone else? Just say no to this one.

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4. Edward Cullen (Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer).
First of all, Edward Cullen is more than 100 years old. He may look like he’s 17 (or closer to 25), but don’t let his non-aging fool you. Hint: If a guy warns you repeatedly against being with him, you probably shouldn’t be with him. To maintain a relationship with this vampire means giving up any ambitions you ever had, and remaining completely stuck in your teen years forever. It also means that you’ll be dating someone who might be able to read your mind (scary) and who sparkles in the sun (also scary).

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5. Harry Potter (Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling).
Throughout seven books and eight films, The Boy Who Lived is the king of angst – and for good reason. He’s a great guy, but Harry Potter simply does not have time for a relationship. Between hunting down horcruxes and trying not to get killed by Voldemort every year, Harry barely ever has time to take his final exams, let alone wine and dine anyone who isn’t an active member of the Order. Even when he and Ginny Weasley first dated, Harry broke things off because it just wasn’t “safe” for her. (And who can blame him? Anyone who tries to get close to Harry is just setting themselves up to become Voldemort-bait.) If you’re looking for a romance in Hogwarts, try a lesser-known character in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, because then you’re more likely to avoid being kidnapped by a Death Eater or possessed by an old diary.

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Readers: Who are your literary crushes, and which literary boyfriends could you do without?

Your Breakup Kit: 10 Songs to Ease the Pain

Although Valentine’s Day is in a couple of days, some couples are not basking in the rays of relationship bliss. For those currently in the middle of breakups, mid-February is an especially difficult time to process your feelings, as the entire country glamorizes the idea of proving your worth to society based on whether anyone was willing to hold your hand in public on that day. So to help you all out, I’m bringing in a few song favorites and links – some sad, some upbeat – that could help cheer you up.

And yes, most of these are very mainstream songs. Enjoy!

Sad Songs for Wallowing in Self-Pity

Sometimes it’s your party and you can cry if you want to. This list is for the people who just don’t want to get out of bed, the heartbroken ones who keep replaying “what if?” scenarios in their minds, the people who need to let themselves feel the heartbreak a little bit longer.

1. Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy (song).
The lyrics “You sang me Spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes,” always stick in my head when I hear this song! The artist sings goodbye to a significant other that almost was.

2. California King Bed – Rihanna (song).
I’m not the biggest Rihanna fan, but I wish this song had gotten more airtime when it first came out. This super sad song is all about a relationship at its end, being torn apart by emotional distance.

3. The Reason Why – Rachael Yamagata (song).
This song is not really about a romantic breakup, but more about the artist’s breakup with her band and journey into working a solo act. Beautiful piano accompaniment with lyrics that you can totally apply to your own heartbreak.

4. Set Fire to the Rain – Adele (song).
To be fair, every song by Adele is a breakup song. Set Fire to the Rain in particular always resonated with me as one of the sadder ones – although I’m sure we’ll be hearing more from her soon!

5. Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley (song).
This is my favorite cover of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, and I think it has such a profound sadness to it. After all, Shrek and Fiona listened to it when they parted ways in the first Shrek movie, didn’t they? If it’s good enough for Shrek, it’s good enough for any of us.

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Empowering Songs for Your Inner Warrior

Sometimes, we don’t want to host our own pity parties — instead, we want to move past the heartbreak and feel the freedom of a bad relationship shed. These songs reflect the strength we might embody when we overcome a difficult situation.

1. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor (song).
How can you not love this song and immediately start dancing when it comes on? I Will Survive is the pre-Single Ladies anthem for single ladies everywhere.

2. Picture to Burn – Taylor Swift (song).
Make as many jokes about Taylor Swift’s relationship status as you’d like, but this song – with its original country charm that many of her newer songs lack – easily gives We Are Never Getting Back Together a run for its money. Spiteful, yes, but totally fun to listen to!

3. I Look So Good – Jessie James (song).
In this song, the artist sings about all of the good things the breakup has done for her – including a boost of confidence! Definitely gives the breakup a more positive spin.

4. Miss Me – Andy Grammer (song).
I’ll admit that this one is a little sadder than the others, but the song does lean toward the sentiment that your significant other will miss you when you’re gone. For the still-sad-but-leaning-toward-empowered ones, this song provides hope of a happier tomorrow.

5. Happily Never After – Pussycat Dolls (song).
This song is all about leaving an unhealthy relationship for good and knowing what you deserve – a very uplifting way to start anew.

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What are your favorite breakup songs? What songs have helped you get through some of your toughest moments?

The Weekend Five: Things That Pop Culture Taught Me to Expect About Falling in Love

As Valentine’s Day looms dangerously close by, we begin to think more and more about love and relationships based on our current frames of reference. Even if you have a significant other, you might still be a sucker for  cheesy romantic comedies, and this could potentially affect your own beliefs about what “love” really looks like. In my own life, pop culture has played its role in shaping my expectations, for better or for worse.

In honor of Singles Awareness Day/Valentine’s Day (depending, of course, on your relationship status and/or feelings about Hallmark), I would like to present the five things that pop culture taught me to expect in the world of relationships.

The Weekend Five: Things That Pop Culture Taught Me to Expect About Falling in Love

1. Every social encounter is a potential meet-cute.
It doesn’t matter where you are or why you’re there; any time you meet someone of the desired gender, you have the chance to find real love. This allows you to turn an awkward situation, such as running into each other and dropping all of your belongings on the ground, into something more meaningful. If your eyes meet for more than a few seconds as you laugh and help each other to pick up your things, it’s a sign of good things to come — and if your hands brush against theirs, it’s obvious that you’re soulmates. You can apply similar logic to other situations as well: meeting someone at a bar, admiring the same painting in an art gallery, reaching for the same book in a library. It doesn’t matter if the other person doesn’t see all of this as reason to exchange numbers or break up with their current significant other; as long as you keep your mind open, any moment can become a meet-cute.

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2. The one who has been around the longest is the one you’ll end up with.“I’ve been right here in front of you the entire time!” the romantic female lead exclaims as she plants herself in her male best friend’s doorway. “I was here all along!” This rule can go two ways: either you will end up with your best friend, or you will end up with the person whom you met in the very first episode (a la Carrie/Mr. Big) of Your Love Life. Either way, longevity will trump all else in the game of love.

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3. If all else fails, you can broadcast your search for love to the entire world.
By becoming the next Bachelor or Bachelorette on ABC, you will not only have countless attractive dental assistants and entrepreneurs of ambiguous backgrounds vying for your attention, but you will also have access to an unlimited wardrobe of evening wear. Falling in love on television is totally genuine and foolproof; even if you don’t end up married later down the road, you are at least contractually obligated to get an engagement out of it, and your entire courtship will be littered with poorly disguised metaphors. Who wouldn’t want that?

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4. Your relationship will have its own montage.
Every memorable moment that has led up to your declaration of love will flash before your eyes. This montage will be relatively short – no more than three minutes – but will highlight your relationship’s “Best Of” moments. This also happens when you aren’t in a relationship but considering confessing your feelings for someone with whom you’ve developed a close friendship. This montage is a mental one, so don’t be creepy and put anything together in iMovie.

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5. Your relationship will be scored by a mix of 1980s love songs and modern indie music.
I always imagined that The Glory of Love by Peter Cetera would start playing the moment I realized I’d found “The One” (okay, maybe not always, but at least since I watched last season of The Bachelorette). The truth is, if pop culture has taught us anything, it’s that our relationships will take up entire soundtracks – and bands like Foreigner, Death Cab for Cutie and Sparklehorse will be the main attractions. Our relationships will consist of sweet if not slightly poppy melodies, smarmy songs that came out the year before we were born and a few songs by obscure bands we’ve never heard of. Get your iTunes ready.

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What are some of the things that pop culture has taught you to expect about falling in love?

Is Honesty The Best Policy?

“Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all of the time.” – Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto

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As a society, we have an overwhelming need to share every thought we have whenever we can. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all of us in every moment, but more often than not, we find ourselves in the midst of heartfelt (if not too detailed) confessions of opinions and feelings that sometimes have no business being expressed out loud.

It sounds silly and completely un-American, but I truly believe that some things are better left unsaid, that some disclosures aren’t worth the risk of hurt feelings or lost friendships. In fact, our world would completely fall apart as we know it if we were to share every negative feeling we experience or every little thing that bothers us.

Perhaps our desire to overshare these feelings stems from pop culture. As products of the romantic comedy genre, we know that our favorite characters are rewarded for their honest, emotional outbursts. We also witness honesty at its worst when watching reality television, as cast members “stop being polite and start getting real.”

I would never encourage people to bury their feelings or keep quiet in every situation, but I would suggest that we learn to choose our battles wisely. Let’s learn to speak up when it really means something, and not when our words are only going to make the situation worse.

The Weekend Five: Literary Characters Whose Problems Could Have Been Solved With Love

Throughout many works of literature, love plays a significant role in the characters’ personalities, decisions and overall well-being. Some characters sacrifice their lives for love, some let it cloud their judgment and some even flourish in its presence. However, for some literary characters, a lack of love causes them to suffer and can lead to their ultimate demise. This week, we’ll take a look at some of those characters for whom love would have solved their problems and changed their fates entirely.

The Weekend Five: Literary Characters Whose Problems Could Have Been Solved With Love

1. Miss Havisham (Great Expectations by Charles Dickens).
Already a bitter old woman at the start of the novel, Miss Havisham is a spinster who has been burned. (For those of you who have read the book, I apologize for the awful double meaning here.) When she was young, Miss Havisham was left at the altar by the man she loved, and as a result, she stopped all of the clocks in her home and remained in her decaying wedding dress, the house preserved to the state it had been on her wedding day. Her coping mechanism? Miss Havisham adopts a beautiful little girl named Estella and raises her to be a heartbreaker. She teaches Estella to be cold to men and even lets her use Pip, the novel’s protagonist, for practice. Although Miss Havisham realizes the error of her ways in the very end, she still could have avoided this quest for revenge had she listened to a few Taylor Swift songs and moved on to find a new love.

2. Frankenstein’s Monster (Frankenstein by Mary Shelley).
Don’t let the picture deceive you… this next one isn’t Herman Munster, but Frankenstein’s Monster! Dr. Victor Frankenstein brings this man to life, and then immediately abandons him in disgust and fear, considering him to be a Monster. (When I refer to Frankenstein, then, I am referring to the scientist, not to his creation, as some have made that easy mistake.) Frankenstein’s Monster lives peacefully alone for a while, reading Paradise Lost and longingly observing a family from afar. He feels rejected by his father and often compares himself to Satan in Paradise Lost — and the fact alone that he’s even reading Milton in his spare time should be sad enough! Frankenstein’s Monster isn’t inherently evil, but because he cannot get the love and care he so desperately needs and deserves, he fights back by destroying everything that Victor Frankenstein holds dear. As depressing as that is, Frankenstein could have avoided all of this, had he not created something he wasn’t going to love and care for.

3. Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte).
As a gypsy orphan, Heathcliff lives with the Earnshaw family and falls in love with the young Catherine Earnshaw. Of course, because of their different stations in life, she refuses to marry him and instead accepts another man’s proposal. Heathcliff leaves Wuthering Heights and returns a wealthy man, but never does end up with Cathy. However, he marries the sister of Cathy’s husband, treats her terribly, and acts cruelly toward each of their heirs. Heathcliff is haunted by Catherine for the rest of his life and is ultimately buried alongside her. Granted, Catherine seems like a piece of work, so maybe Heathcliff should have given his wife Isabella a fair chance?

4. Dorian Gray (The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde).
Dorian Gray, as a young man, falls superficially in love with an actress named Sibyl Vane, mostly because of the beauty of her acting. However, when her feelings for him affect her theatrical abilities, he cruelly rejects her, which leads to her suicide. Dorian also more or less sells his soul for youth and beauty, which ultimately leads to years of meaningless debauchery, scandal and eventually his death. Dorian is adored by artist Basil Hallward, who paints the titular portrait, but Dorian’s problem stems more from the fact that he loves no one but himself. Dorian, you’re good looking and all, but maybe you should stop being the poster child for Gluttony and find a nice person with whom you can finally settle down.

5. Voldemort (Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling).
The Dark Lord Voldemort has a lot of angst – and his dysfunctional family tree certainly doesn’t help the situation. His mother Merope used a Love Potion to attract Tom Riddle Senior (Voldie’s father), so essentially, Voldemort wasn’t even conceived out of true love. Tom Senior leaves Merope when she stops giving him the potion, Merope dies in childbirth and Voldemort – then Tom Marvolo Riddle – goes to an orphanage. He’s an outsider for all of his young life, and even though Dumbledore looks out for him at Hogwarts, he still becomes a complete sociopath jerk and eventually his killing spree begins. Of course, when Harry survives his Avada Kedavra curse because of his mother’s protection, love is what nearly destroys Voldemort and reduces him to a very weak form. Voldemort is feared by those who follow him, but never really loved (in spite of that awkward hug scene between him and Draco Malfoy in the final film installment). Love is one of the series’ major focal points, and because he has never experienced it, Voldemort stands to lose the most because of it.

What are your thoughts? Are there any characters missing from this list that you would want to add?

The Weekend Five: Unhealthy Relationships on Television

As busy as I may be throughout the semester, I happen to be an avid TV viewer. I’m not ashamed of my silly television habits, and many readers will note that I love to discuss some of the fictional (and non-fictional!) characters in relation to my beliefs about dating, ambition and more. Today’s blog focuses on the less healthy relationships that have been recently portrayed on television, some of which are fan favorites, and my thoughts on each pairing. Enjoy!

The Weekend Five: Unhealthy Relationships on Television

1. Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.
Don’t get me wrong… I used to love this couple (when I was seventeen). When the show first planted the idea of Blair, the scheming Queen B of the Upper East Side, and Chuck, the wealthy and womanizing bad boy, a part of me thought that the pairing was just crazy enough to work out. I enjoyed watching as their relationship developed, with both characters struggling to admit their true feelings for one another, but after the second season or so, things took a turn for the crazy. Chuck traded Blair for a hotel, hooked up with a character’s younger sister on the night he planned to propose, and even became physically abusive to Blair, who ultimately married and divorced a Monaguesque prince. A relationship this rocky is not worth the time or heartache; in fact, both characters thrive when they aren’t together. Personally, I believe that Chuck needs to go through a ton of rehab, and that Blair is much better off with Dan Humphrey, her best friend and intellectual equal. (As a couple, Dan Humphrey and Serena van der Woodsen are a close second for unhealthy couples!)

2. Ryan Howard and Kelly Kapoor from The Office.This couple was hilarious to watch throughout the show’s run, but definitely not a “healthy” relationship. Kelly herself was one of my favorite characters while she was still on the show, probably because of her knack for the dramatic (ie: faking pregnancy or swallowing a tapeworm to lose weight), and Ryan’s pretentious behavior was enough to make you love to hate him. While Kelly constantly latched on to Ryan, Ryan only showed enough interest to keep her around. In fact, when Kelly moves to Miami, Ohio, with her new pediatrician boyfriend, Ryan moves there as well (seemingly to get her back). In real life, this kind of relationship would be troublesome, but on the small screen, Kelly and Ryan are one of the most entertaining unhealthy couples to watch.

3. Belle and Rumplestiltskin from Once Upon a Time.
Okay, let me start out by saying that I really am pulling for these two to end up together. I think Belle is exactly what Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin needs to stay grounded and not let his powers overcome him. However, in its current state, the relationship could arguably use some improving. While Belle remains supportive of Rumplestiltskin and committed to making him a better man, Rumplestiltskin struggles to put his love for her in front of everything else. Once he finally changes for the better and isn’t so obsessed with making deals with every single fairy tale character who ever existed, I believe that he and Belle will make a great couple.

4. President Fitzgerald Grant and Olivia Pope from Scandal.
Olivia Pope, the former communications director for the White House, has an affair with Fitzgerald Grant during his presidential campaign and long afterward. Although the President is married to someone else and expecting his third or fourth child, he just can’t quit Olivia. The two are so drawn to each other (although, to this day, I’m unclear on why) that every scene between them is extremely emotional and intense. Every time Olivia tries to break things off, Fitz does something crazy to win her back – for example, having his Secret Service men kidnap Liv in the woods so the two of them can have some alone time. His need to be with Olivia borders on controlling, and the fact that their relationship must be kept secret is enough to make it unhealthy. (Don’t forget – his wife is pregnant!)

5. Victoria Henley and her mother from Cycle 19 of America’s Next Top Model.
As a huge fan of Top Model, I couldn’t let this one slip by! Victoria is a homeschooled girl who now attends online college, and she has never really been apart from her mother. Immediately in the season, she talks about her devotion to her mother, as well as the idea that she never wants to pursue a romantic relationship with a guy in the foreseeable future because her relationship with her mother is fulfilling enough. Now, I love my Mom and talk to her about nearly everything, but Victoria takes it to a whole new level, crying out “Momma!” and bursting into tears every time she rings up her mother on the phone. This attachment is a little scary, considering this girl is getting into her twenties and hasn’t formed a relationship of any kind with anyone else.

What TV relationships do you think are the most unhealthy?

It All Makes Sense Now: Living So The Words Have Meaning

When my best friend and I were in high school and our earlier years of college, we constantly compared the boys in our lives to the boys in Taylor Swift songs. From the guys who were perfect in every way who simply didn’t notice us to the guys from whom we had drifted apart, we loved rocking out to T. Swift’s music in the car because we knew that, at any time, we could relate to at least something on her album.

Music often has the power to bring us back to a single moment in time, reminding us of the emotions — both good and bad — that came along with it. But little do we realize that those pivotal moments in our lives are exactly what give the lyrics their meaning. If we hadn’t met that one person, been in a particular place at a particular time, or experienced heartbreak, we wouldn’t truly comprehend those life events about which the songs were written in the first place.

After one break-up, I was listening to a few old favorites of mine, and one song – an older song written in some sort of extended metaphor that has been covered by probably a hundred artists since its inception – began to play. It was a song I’d always thought was beautiful, but I was never really sure why. This time, I felt an intense sadness as I meditated on a few key lyrics, as I realized, I finally know what he’s singing about. In a strange way, this simple realization made me feel that much more connected to the artist, the song and even to the world.

It goes like this: you can read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and think that you know what it means to be “infinite,” but eventually you will end up in a situation that actually makes you feel infinite, and suddenly you have a greater appreciation and understanding of the book itself.

I believe it is important to take that leap of faith and live so that the words have meaning. It might not turn out the way you had hoped – it might sting – but you owe it to yourself to enter relationships honestly and to remain open to unfamiliar opportunities.

The Weekend Five: Types of Political Advertisements

With the presidential election just two days away, many of us have long since decided which candidates we plan to vote for (or perhaps have already voted!) and are now just waiting to see what happens on Tuesday when the polls close. Nevertheless, the candidates still seek to sway the undecided voters and apathetic citizens by interrupting our favorite shows on Hulu with political advertisements coming from all different perspectives.

Having cast my absentee ballot several weeks ago, I look forward to the day that we can stop posting politically charged Facebook statuses and watching these ads. Whether I flip on my television or even turn the radio to the Spanish language station, I’m still flooded with “I’m ____ and I approve this message.” In honor of democracy, our upcoming election and my Bachelor’s degree in Advertising, I would like to present this weekend’s list of different types of political advertisements.

The Weekend Five: Types of Political Advertisements

1. “My opponent is awful.”
Instead of addressing what he or she plans to do for the country, the candidate instead takes jabs at his or her opponent, focusing on everything that this person either has done wrong or will do wrong if elected. These ads are completely negative in nature and tend to include a lot of graphs or out-of-context soundbites of the opponent saying something absolutely ridiculous and unforgivable.

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2. The Rebuttal.
Candidate B has seen Candidate A’s advertisement attacking what Candidate B said in that one speech, and now he’s mad. Candidate B counter-attacks with an equally bad soundbite of Candidate A that was likely also taken out of context. We haven’t learned much about what the candidates actually believe, but we do know that they really like pulling up old clips of their opponents.

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3. “My mom is my reference.”
When you’re applying for a job, and your prospective employer asks you for references, who do you turn to? If you’re at all serious about the job, you’ll want to carefully select past employers or people you’ve worked with who are familiar with what you have accomplished. In most cases, you would not choose your mother or your spouse to vouch for you. However, politicians don’t follow that logic, and instead will prominently feature their family members in some ads, who will then speak to the candidate’s personality or how great of a father he is. I don’t know about you, but when I’m looking to vote for a political candidate, I want to know about where he stands on the issues important to me — not how wonderful of a job his parents think he will do.

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4. The Trying-To-Be-Hip Ad.
Politicians are constantly trying to target the youth vote, either through commercials featuring young people worrying about the country’s future, or through commercials that take things a step further by using almost-hip lingo and insulting our intelligence in the process. As a 22-year-old, I was actually a little offended by a Mitt Romney commercial that compared him and President Obama on how “cool” they were. The commercial concluded with the idea that even though Romney wasn’t as “cool” as Obama, he was still the right man for the job. Although there is nothing wrong with the message of the ad, I was annoyed that advertisers actually thought that young voters would select a candidate so superficially. I have voted in two presidential elections thus far, and in neither did I select a candidate because of his apparent coolness (nor have any of my friends or acquaintances, for that matter). Rather, I voted for the candidate whose vision of America reflected my own, the candidate that I believed would be best for our country. These ads condescend to their audience of 18-25 -year-olds because they assume we’re still thirteen and care about voting for what’s” cool.”

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5. The Fight for the Marginalized Groups.
Both parties will pose advertisements that are directed to marginalized groups (whatever the focus may be for the particular election), assuring them that their lives will be better under a particular candidate’s reign. This year, women are the target audience of many ads, which admittedly has proven interesting as each side fights for their support, discussing what they plan to do to preserve women’s rights. The middle class is another important demographic, as each party argues reasons why the middle class will disappear if the other candidate is elected. (I would love to hear what the Republican candidates have to say to their gay constituents, but that’s another story!)

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What types of political advertisements are you sick of seeing?

Let’s not get too partisan in the comments section — this blog was written for fun and not to create too much of an argument! I’m always fascinated by the types of ads that politicians put together, and would love to know more about some of the memorable ones you’ve seen this year.

Until You Learn To Love Yourself

Last week, with Ne-Yo’s Let Me Love You playing in the background at the gym (yes, I like Ne-Yo), I started to let the song’s lyrics sink in for the first time. For those unfamiliar with this song, the basic premise is that “I will love you until you learn to love yourself.” As much as I find Ne-Yo’s lyrics incredibly sweet and romantic, my practical side can’t help but question whether or not the song describes a particularly healthy relationship.

Ne-Yo sings to a girl who has never known love and who doesn’t have a particularly high opinion of herself, either. In the song, he promises to serve as the self esteem and love that she’s missing. However, although our significant others should build us up when we’re down and believe in us when we have our doubts, we shouldn’t be in a place where we need them to do this for us all the time.

This may sound harsh — and it would imply that a lot of people who are currently in relationships shouldn’t be — but until we learn to love ourselves, we shouldn’t call upon someone else to do that for us. If you are unhappy more often than you are happy with the world around you, then it doesn’t matter how perfect someone is, because you’re just not ready to be in a relationship. If you don’t love yourself (or, at the very least, like yourself), then you can’t reciprocate the wonderful support that you receive from your significant other, regardless of how willing that person is to be there for us. Is that fair to the person you care about?

Your boyfriend or girlfriend should seek to boost your confidence, but that shouldn’t be the primary goal. A relationship should be mutually beneficial, and as mentioned before, that can be nearly impossible when Person A is always questioning himself or herself, and wondering what Person B sees in him or her. Similarly, when we aren’t happy with ourselves, we don’t always pursue the healthiest relationships. As Stephen Chbosky writes in one of my favorite books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Therefore, if we don’t love ourselves, we might remain in relationships with people who treat us poorly because we don’t think we deserve any better.

Ultimately, building your self image is difficult, and often a work in progress. In fact, most of us have a long way to go before we realize how much we truly deserve. Until you learn to love or like yourself, it’s best to take some time to yourself and reflect upon what makes you happy. Develop yourself in the best way you can, strengthen your platonic relationships, discover a hobby, and think about everything you are thankful for. Only after you’ve rebuilt yourself and found your version of happiness on your own can you accept the love of another person.