No Flash Mobs Proposals, Please!

If there’s one trend in romance that I just don’t understand, it’s the concept of flash mob proposals.

Please don’t get me wrong – I’m not a complete Scrooge when it comes to relationships, even if my blog may lead you to believe otherwise. Like most other girls my age, I watch more chick flicks than I’m proud of, and of course I hope for my happily ever after. I’m not anti-grand gestures either, so long as they aren’t the results of constant fighting and dysfunction. If you want to declare your love for somebody in a big way, then by all means, you should.

But I’m still not on board with the whole “flash mob proposal” bit. For those who haven’t seen these on YouTube before (click here), a flash mob consists of a large, seemingly random group of strangers who suddenly break into dance and/or song in front of a group of unsuspecting passersby. Flash mobs contain elements of surprise and excitement (unless, of course, you watch Grimm, in which case they are simply a horrible cause of death), which have contributed to their popularity since 2009 or so. In the past few years, however, some men have integrated the flash mob into their own marriage proposals, involving other guests in the restaurant and people walking by on the street. When it is finally time for him to pop the question, the woman must answer in front of a crowd of perhaps hundreds of people.

I know a lot of girls who find this incredibly romantic, but while I appreciate the amount of effort that goes into a flash mob proposal, I can’t say I would ever want to be a recipient of something like that. After all, what if the woman doesn’t want to marry the guy proposing to her? What if she says “no” and flees the scene – what then? Even worse, what if she says “yes” because she feels an added pressure to marry him, but isn’t actually ready or willing to make that commitment? This also applies to big-screen proposals at major sporting events and other proposals that require an audience.

In a way, I get it. Flash mob proposals are (kind of) original and demonstrate just how far the person is willing to go to impress his significant other. But what comes after the proposal? Come to think of it, how much money are you going to spend or want someone to spend on a proposal? Even if it is true love, does it have to be so elaborate? To me, a few honest words are more important than any choreographed song and dance number, and the money you could have spent on a marching band and light show could instead be used for a down payment on a house. Saying “I do” or “I don’t and never will” should have nothing to do with an audience of expectant strangers and everything to do with where you see yourself in five, ten, fifty years..

In the end, these grand gestures are well-intentioned, but not nearly as important as the little things we may otherwise overlook.

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4 comments

  1. I think a gigantic dramatic proposal would be fun and cool if the people were completely in love with each other and the actual proposal was more a formality than anything else. But at the same time, the romantic in me thinks a more private proposal would be better.

  2. I agree with you, Val. =) Not just for the case of flash-mob proposals specifically, but more so when it comes to proposals in front of an audience in general (as you also described in your article), when the marriage proposal is a surprise to the girl and she doesn’t know they are going to be married beforehand. Those kinds of theatrics put undue pressure on the girl to say yes, whereas I think that matters of commitment should be as honest and free-willed as possible. And as a guy — knowing that there would be excessive pressure on the girl I’m asking — I wouldn’t personally find it romantic, lol.

    Also, I suppose that I was never one to find extravagant theatrics necessarily more romantic than “quieter” displays of love, hahaha. xD In fact, I often find that the “quieter” acts often get to me more, whether it be in movies/storybooks or in real life. For example, I’ve been to a few weddings, and every single time, I’ve found the couple more romantic outside of the wedding — with the cute little things that they do and say to each other in more casual circumstances — rather than inside the wedding, with all of its stiff ceremonial formalities.

    I guess this is why I also don’t think that a theatrical marriage proposal in front of some audience would be for me, lol. Furthermore, as you said, something like that usually means that you spend more money (like the notion that a guy is more romantic and loves a girl more when he buys her a bigger diamond, lol). And I don’t think that love or romance should be measured by money. After all, love and romance should guide us to the things in life that are right, and true, and good — and this world has placed more than enough importance on money and status already.

    1. I completely agree with you– the little things give you more insight into the relationship than a huge wedding anyway! We already use material possessions in every other area of our lives- we don’t need to use them to define “love” too. Thank you so much for your comment!

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