The Friday Five: Ways to Know if You’re Pretentious

The search for the Pretentious first began during my spring semester of freshman year. Within our (very small) creative writing class, two of my close friends and I began to pick up on some of the pompousness and occasional false modesty (“Oh, I’ll read my poetry aloud to the class, but I’d just like to warn you that it’s not very good… Oh, but you liked it? I suppose a smug smile would be an appropriate response!“) that plagued some of the people around us. These traits annoyed us, and we made sure to recognize whenever they came up.

Of course, as time passed, we began to ask ourselves:

Were we the pretentious ones all along?

All in all, I’ve concluded that each of us is at least a little pretentious — we merely differ in how much we express that. For this week’s Friday Five, I’d like to recognize five characteristics that might mark a more outwardly pretentious person. Keep in mind that this doesn’t hold true for everyone, and that in the end, it’s important to learn how to laugh at yourself!

The Friday Five: Ways to Know if You’re Pretentious

1. You aren’t an English major, but when asked what you liked most about the last book you read, your answer focused mostly on obscure literary techniques and easy-to-miss symbolism.

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2. You like to use big words that you don’t quite grasp the meaning of and pronounce them incorrectly.

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3. You would prefer the Original to a Remake any day, especially if the Original is foreign. In fact, bonus points if it’s foreign!

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4. You aren’t sure what bothers you more: that someone else only knows ONE song by your favorite band, or the fact that this person has heard of the band at all.

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5. You find yourself making most of the judgments!

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What are some pretentious traits that you can’t stand?

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8 comments

  1. I love this…A LOT. After graduating university, I can think back of all of them and laugh. So, this made me remember and made my day. Thanks =)

  2. This is so funny.
    Once, I was at Chili’s with some friends and there was a very pretentious guy next to me. He aggravated me throughout the whole dinner! At the end, (because I am sometimes mathematically challenged) I took out my cellphone as I often do, to look up 20% of whatever my dinner costed. Well, I don’t even know this guy and he exclaims, “Give $8. (or whatever the price was…) You should give atleast 20%. That’s how much you need to give him.” It’s not even what he said as much as how he said it. He said it in an arrogant, I’m better than you, and I always give over 20% kind of way. Plus, he inherits something I call the “Justin-complex,” named after one of the most arrogant people I ever met. Haha. :)

  3. I hate false modesty most of all probably, because that’s pronounced fakeness; not the slightest shame. But I will say I’m a bit pretentious myself I suppose – and I don’t hide it either.

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